A journey to becoming yourself

The way we view ourselves in the world is impacted by so many things, and with social media it can feel like we’re constantly bombarded with images of success, standards of beauty, these over-inflated versions of what someone is pushing to be ‘normal’.
If we don’t know ourselves, or feel confident of the space we take up in the world, it can be easy to fall into the trap of fitting into this external mould, and when we don’t we can feel like we don’t belong.Â
But what if I told you that fitting in and belonging are not the same? In fact, they are worlds apart. Understanding this difference is one of the most powerful shifts you can make on your path to becoming your authentic self.
Fitting In: The Mask We Wear
Fitting in is something many of us have learned to do from a young age. We adjust ourselves, our behaviours, opinions, even our personalities, to be accepted by the people around us. Whether it’s at work, with friends, or even online, we might find ourselves suppressing certain parts of ourselves to avoid rejection or judgement.
But here’s the thing: fitting in comes at a cost.Â
The main cost being self-abandonment.
And then we have the cost that comes when we shape ourselves based on external expectations; we can often lose sight of who we truly are. Attempting to fit in might be temporary security, but inside, it creates a disconnection from ourselves, which can lead to experiencing anxiety, self-doubt, and a lingering sense of emptiness.
Most of us have experienced it: nodding along in agreement when something doesn’t quite sit right with us, just to avoid standing out or if we aren’t sure of ourselves. But when you’re constantly moulding yourself to fit the shape of someone else’s expectations, you end up silencing your own voice.
Belonging: The Power of Self-Acceptance
Belonging, on the other hand, is about showing up as your authentic self and being accepted for who you truly are. It’s rooted in self-acceptance, and this self-acceptance begins when you stop forcing yourself into someone else’s mould. You give yourself permission to be seen and heard in your fullest expression.
Unlike fitting in, where you seek external validation, belonging comes from within. When you belong, you no longer need to hide parts of yourself or dull your edges to make others feel comfortable. Instead, you experience a deeper sense of connection with both yourself and others.
This is where deconditioning comes in. Deconditioning is a process of peeling back the layers of societal expectations, familial beliefs, and personal patterns that may have been keeping you small or feeling disconnected and misaligned with your true nature.
Human Design and Gene Keys: Tools for Self-Exploration
One of the most powerful tools for this process of deconditioning is Human Design. Human Design shows us that we all have a unique energetic blueprint - it is our personal map. Yet, many of us have been conditioned to ignore our inner wisdoms and adopt beliefs, habits, and ways of being that aren't truly ours.
For example, if you have a defined Identity Center (G-Centre) in your Human Design, your sense of self and direction may be strong, yet conditioning from others can pull you away from your path. On the other hand, if your Identity Center is open, you may have spent years picking up other people’s identities, unsure of your own.
Gene Keys takes this deeper by showing us the shadows we carry, the unconscious fears and limitations that shape our reality. These shadows are often reinforced by our conditioning, but they also hold the key to our gifts and higher purpose. As you journey through your Human Design and Gene Keys, you begin to uncover these shadows, not as something to fear, but as a portal to your true essence.
The Shift: From Fitting In to Belonging
The journey from fitting in to belonging is not linear, and it’s certainly not easy. Deconditioning takes time and patience, but it is an incredibly liberating process. You’re not here to be like anyone else, and the more you align with your Human Design, the clearer this becomes.
When you start to shed the layers of conditioning, you realise that belonging isn’t about finding a place in the world where you fit; it’s about creating a space for yourself. A space where you feel free to explore, evolve, and express yourself without fear of rejection.
Embrace Your Evolution
Belonging is not a fixed destination, it’s a lifelong process of self-exploration. As we grow, so does our understanding of who we are. You are never a finished product, and that’s where the magic lies.
When you give yourself permission to evolve, to embrace your uniqueness, and to honour the messy process of becoming, you step into a life that feels aligned and purposeful. You create connections that are authentic and grounded in truth. You step into your true self, not the version you were conditioned to be.
So, the question remains: Are you trying to fit in, or are you ready to belong?
Carissa x
Comments